Just when I should be decking the halls with purple twinkle lights, ceramic punkinheads, and tacky plush ghosts and Frankenstein toys, I find myself stuck in advent.
Little “a” advent. Not big “A.” Awaiting approval of my application materials can hardly be compared to the collective breath-holding preceding the birth of Christ. But, still, I’m sure Mary would have understood my plight. I mean, just take a look at how similarly we think about “coming attractions:”
Mary: How will this be, since I am a virgin?
Me: How the hell is this gonna work? I’m a LIBRARIAN for cripe’s sake.
Mary: Let it be unto me according to your word.
Me: Let it be unto me according to getting my own way.
Mary: Behold the maidservant of the Lord!
Me: This house is a mess. Would it kill us to hire a maidservant??
At the moment, I’m only applying to one seminary. I wasn’t even thinking along the lines of “backup plan” until the section of the application form that asked where else I intended to apply. Well, that got me to thinking. What if my brilliant idea and lifelong aspiration to study at this particular seminary doesn’t work out? Heck, there’ve got to be SQUILLIONS of seminaries out there. Some of them might even be PRESBYTERIAN!*
So I did a little research. And I’m pleased to say that I now have a viable Plan B. If my first choice shies away from my bid to become the-preacher-your-mother-warned-you-about, I’ll try McCormick Theological Seminary. I like McCormick for three reasons:
- It has a Scottish name, which makes it seem like returning to the bosom of my Highland clan. I’ll wear the family tartan underwear and rent myself and my claymore out to campus security. We’ll call it work study.
- It’s a Presbyterian seminary. I can only assume that there’s more sweet financial aid for Presbyterian seminarians actually attending Presbyterian seminaries than for heathen defectors like me skulking about with the Methodists.
- I love their line of spices.
Plan B notwithstanding, I’m still jonesing for Plan A. And so, I wait. All my application materials have been submitted, including four letters of reference that I sincerely hope don’t point to this blog or otherwise expound on what a smartass I am. Although, who knows? Maybe the Methodists know that there should be more people like me polluting pulpits with humor, common sense, and gentle irreverence. God, I hope so.
* I’m applying to a United Methodist seminary. And in the spirit of ecumenism that puts the “union” in United Methodism, this seminary has students from nearly three dozen denominations. I’m expecting this to be a veritable salad bar of Anglican avocadoes, Unitarian onions, Lutheran leeks, Baptist broccoli, Pentecostal pepitas, and Zoroastrian zucchinis.
© Marian the Seminarian, 2011